The Mary Sue Killer of the Opera
by Ivy-Beatrix
Summary: Tired of the pesky Mary Sues written by his Phans, Erik acquires the assistance of a moody Mary Sue Killer, Ink Blot. What unfolds from it includes kidnappings, revolutions, arguments, romantic feelings, Phantom of the Opera references, and the countless deaths of Mary Sue characters.
1. Chapter 1: How it all began

**Chapter 1: How it all began...**

"Oh Erik, help me!" a young woman cried in a sickeningly sweet voice as she tumbled into the Opera Ghost's lake. Her tulle gown quickly soaked with water and began to sink her into the water's murky depths, until only a slender hand stuck out of the water, still waiting for a presumed rescue.

Erik slammed his fingers on the organ in frustration at the interruption.

"I hope the siren drags you to the corner of hell where you belong," he darkly muttered under his breath. That had been the third girl this morning to fling herself in the lake in hopes to get his attention.

"Now Erik, that is more than a little harsh, don't you think?" Erik turned to see the Persian standing there with his mail. The only thing more reliable that helpless women with tragic backstories these days, Erik mused, was Daroga delivering his mail.

"Do not be absurd, Daroga. These pernicious 'Mary Sues' are driving me mad. Their steadfast adoration and prying is repulsive. Ever since I was put onto that damnable site, my domaine has continuously been infiltrated by all of these girls!" The Persian rolled his eyes as the Phantom ranted. Once again, the Persian was glad that he was not a popular character and that he could move around the opera house with relative ease.

"You could simply abandon your lair and get an apartment on Rue Scribe, to hide out in," Erik turned back to his organ in disinterest as the Persian, "…but then again you're as stubborn as mule so that is out of the question. Here, just read your mail."

"What did I get?"

"Love notes from Phans... That Webber guy wants to make a prequel to the two other musicals he wrote about you... The managers demand that they get their money back from you..." The Persian said, shuffling through all the pieces of mail, one by one. He paused at the last envelope. "Erik?"

"Yes, Daroga?"

"You got something from the creators of FanFiction"

Erik finally held his hand out for the Persian to him the letter. After receiving it, he tiredly ripped it open with a letter opener. Erik really hoped it wasn't not another invite to get interviewed by some writer. Thankfully, it wasn't. If Erik had eyebrows, they would have shot up under his mask after he read it. The puzzled Persian waited in silence as Erik folded it up gingerly.

"What it say?"

"Read it yourself," Erik then flung the letter in his general direction, which the Persian nimbly caught . He cleared his throat and said the letters contents out loud.

" _Dear Mr. O.G._

 _We have heard of your displeasure at the amount of characters know as 'Mary Sues' that have invaded some of your fan fics that are archived in FanFiction For your patience with these nuisances, we have decided to gift you a personal M.S.K. or commonly know as a Mary Sue Killer. Your M.S.K. will eliminate all 'Sues' from your lair and will protect you from any OCs that appear as well. As you (The Phantom of the Opera) are the 11th highest category in our Books archive, we assure you that your M.S.K will be top of the line in quality and extermination skills. Your M.S.K. will arrive in two days at your lair in a wooden crate._

 _Sincerely,_

 _FFNet_ "

The Persian set the letter down on a nearby table.

"What do you think of this Erik?" The Persian timidly asked.

"Two days are going to seem like an eternity," He dryly replied.

But just like the note said, the wooden crate appeared after two days. Erik was organizing some stacks of music when it happened. One moment he was sorting and then the next thing he hear was a splash.

"Erik," the Persian called out, which echoed across the cavern of the lake. "I am bringing the package from FFnet over. I would prefer it if you don't drown me."

When the Phantom exited his house, there was quite a quite an amusing sight to behold. An exhausted Persian was paddling across the lake, standing on top of a large wooden crate that he had converted into a makeshift gondola. The old man was panting by the time he had reached the shore. Lugging the box down countless stairs, avoiding Erik's traps, and sailing across the lake had left him winded. Wearily jumping off the crate, he dusted himself off only to find Erik expectantly looking at him.

"Well? Do bring it inside, Daroga." the Phantom told him as he turned and went back into his house.

Annoyed, the Persian made a face at his back before reluctantly pushing the crate through the open door. Wiping his brow and adjusting his fez, the Persian finally studied the massive wooden crate he had delivered to his old friend.

On the top it stated ' _Mr. O.G., Opera Garnier, Five cellers down'_ in a curly dark blue script. Silently, Erik stepped forward and found the clasps on one of the box's sides. With a click, he opened the clasps. Erik hesitated before he opened it. Over the past few days he wondered what a M.S.K. would look like. Was it some machine or robot like they have in the 21st century? Erik decided to open it. After all, those Mary Sues were getting on his nerves. The Persian held his breath as Erik slowly raised the lid up. They both gazed in shock at what lay before them.

"That's it. I'm out. I don't know if this what you thought to be an amusing prank, Erik, but I will have none of it." the Persian snapped and then marched out as Erik continued to stare in befuddlement at the contents of the box, what was supposed to be his Mary Sue Killer

It was a body of a girl.

 **AN: This is a rewrite of a story on my old account (LittleLuxa). Reviews are appreciated!**


	2. Chapter 2: The body in the box

**Chapter 2: The body in the box**

Erik had seen many girls during his residency as the Opera ghosts. The weedy and wild eyed ballet rats, the prima donnas who wore heady perfumes and the latest fashions. He also knew what modern women looked like, thanks to the Mary Sues who claimed they had time traveled from the 21st century as well as the hoards of Phangirls who now swarmed that opera house. Yet he had never seen such a strange female in his life when it came to appearance. Her hair was wavy and a peculiar shade navy blue, almost the color you would get from a pen. The girl's skin was a white as a sheet and you could see all of her blue veins that where spread over her body. She wore a simple white shirt and dark blue pants, but of course that was the contemporary fashion in the 'real' world, he mused. Erik didn't know what to do with this possibly dead person. What if she had accidentally drowned when Daroga had carted the crate across the lake?

He reluctantly reached down into the crate and was about to check if the girl still had a pulse when her eyes shot had rather large eyes. They were the same dark blue of her hair he noted before she blinked and then gasped for air, yelling, "Shit!"

Erik stumbled back, startled by her awakening. There went his menacing first impression... not that many people found him menacing anymore.

The girl swore again in a quieter voice and then started to get halfway out of the box she was still in. Her limbs were flying everywhere, as she struggled to regain the use her legs.

"Parlez-vous français, oui?" she yelled amid her attempts to stand.

"Oui, mais je peux aussi parler anglais. Do..." Erik tried to find his composure, "Do you need assistance?"

The girl grunted which he presumed to take as a 'yes'. Erik, being the gentleman he tried to be, gave her a hand which she took with a curt nod of appreciation. Her hands were cold and shaking, Erik realized as he clumsily helped her out. As soon as she was out of the box, he dropped her hand and stepped backwards, wanting to assess the situation. Her first few steps were wobbly, as if she was just learning. The girls face was twisted with frustration when she almost fell. After a couple steps though, she was fine whereupon she rummaged though a pocket until she found a crumpled piece of paper.

"Sorry about that entrance. Traveling by box is not ideal, but you know... budget cuts. Anyways, are you Erik, from the _Phantom of the Opera_?" she asked expectantly in a flat tone.

"In the flesh," he said dryly at her recognition of whom he was and he straightened up, trying to look a little more put together and impressive.

"Okay... good." She put the paper away and nodded, " I'm your M.S.K., by the way. The name is Ink, Ink Blot. And this is where I hold out my hand for you to shake."

"But you're a person."

"An apt observation," she retorted. "Now shake my hand."

Erik sputtered, "Yes, but if I had know that they were merely going to send me a person -a girl with a ridiculous name- I would have just started killing off these damnable Mary Sues by myself! I am aware that in the modern times, a girl can be whatever she wants to be, but am I truly suppose to believe that you are my Mary Sue Killer and that you are capable of exterminating hoards of flimsily written female characters?"

"Yes, indeed I am and I-" Ink faltered, her eyes darkening. She crouched and narrowed her eyes, looking at something behind Erik. He turned around to see a pretty girl in a white dress holding flowers wandering around his lair, absentmindedly humming

It was a classic Mary Sue.

Ink sprung like a cat onto the girl with a dagger she had pulled from... Erik didn't even want to know. The Sue shrieked in surprise and struggled as Ink tried to pin her down. Ink hissed in pain as she was scratched by the Sue's sharp, perfected manicured nails. Erik, frozen to the spot, watched the whole scene unfold in front of him. After only a moment, Ink had completely pined the wailing Sue to the floor. Holding her down with one arm, Ink brutally slashed the girl's throat. Erik had never heard such an awful noise since his time in the rosy hours of Mandrin as an assassin when the Mary Sue died. She sounded like a banshee that was gargling rocks. Then, with a puff, the Sue then evaporated into pink glitter and scraps of paper.

Ink coughed lightly as she swatted away pink glitter that clung to her clothes, creating pink sparkling clouds. Erik looked at her in mild shock as well as interest as she put her dagger in her pocket. She had just killed a Mary Sue right in front of him. Erik had seen (and killed) many things in his life as a fictional character but never had he seen someone from the modern world kill a character as if it were a fly that was bugging them.

"Are you alright?" He finally asked.

"Fine," She said in that toneless voice of hers. Erik frowned at her.

"You have a cut on you face," Erik reached out to touch the part of her cheek that got scratched by the Sue but Ink recoiled away right before he touched her. It was rather surprising to Erik since everyone had liked or pitied him on that FanFiction site and wanted his attention, which he had over time gotten use to and expected after so many girls had fainted into him.

"Way worse has happened to me, Sir. I am fully capable of attending to it myself."

"Very well then," then he paused for a moment as give wrap his head around this entire situation. "Do you have lodgings prepared."

Ink shrugging, "A living space is not of importance."

"Why ever not?"

"I have to be on duty at all time. It's part of my contractual obligations as your Mary Sue Killer."

If Erik had a nose, he would be pinching the bridge of it. Contractual obligations? Life would be so much easier if this blasted M.S.K. had merely been a machine that the size of a toaster! Now it appears he would be stuck finding this girl a place to stay?

"Alright, girl. Could you possibly join me in my library then so we can speak more about these obligations that pertain to your work?"

"Of course, Sir," she replied as he led her down a hallway that led off the main drawing room.

"You are fully capable of calling me Erik and that is what I prefer."

"Well, then you are fully capable of calling me Ink instead of merely 'girl'," Ink retorted as Erik opened the door to his home library, an elegant room

He strode across the room, selecting a book and then sat down on the settee. Ink though, stood warily in the doorway. Erik gave a soft sigh and motioned for her to come in. Eventually, Ink sat in the chair adjacent to him, her posture rigid.

"How long will you be here?"

"Contractually, I am obligated to stay until, and I quote: 'all Mary Sues pertaining to specified character are exterminated'."

Erik thought about the absurd amount of Mary Sues he ran into a a day to day basis, "And what is the duration of time you believe that take?"

"Well, due to the fact that new Mary Sues are created constantly, it could be years. Perhaps even longer."

In a flash, Erik stood up, seeing red, "Years?! Erik may have to deal with you for years?! Out of the question!"

The Mary Sue Killer looked cooly up at him, giving no reaction to the Phantom's bust of rage, "Do I honestly have to say the phrase 'contractual obligation' to you once more? I would prefer not to."

"Where are you going to live during this extended period of time?" He asked with gritted teeth.

"Not here, I assure you. Now, if we are done talking business for the time being, perhaps it would calm us both down to take a breath and read a bit, yes?"

With that, Ink fetched a book off the shelf for herself and sat back down to read without saying another word. Without realizing he was obeying her wishes, Erik did take a course, as he was breathing and was also thinking of how he could strangle this freakish girl with his punjab lasso, but that was besides the point. Every once and a while, Erik would glance up at her from his book. He didn't realize until now that she was rather scrawny and small all curled up as she read. Erik didn't really know what he thought about this Mary Sue Killer named Ink. At least not yet. He had to keep an eye on her and learn more about her, but how?

Ink looked out of the corner of her eye to see that Erik was looking at her, again. Ink slowly put down her book, bookmarking it with her finger and stared back at him. Ink was admittedly surprised now that she got her first good look at him. Just like the french novelist Gaston Leroux had said, he was tall as well as skinny as a rail and menacing but she found him also rather stoic looking. The white mask that covered almost his entire face besides his thin lips and chin was perfectly sculpted to his face and contrasted against his dark hair. This is why the Mary Sue Killer Academy gave her this case though. Ink was the best of her class, strong, smart and wouldn't fall for the charms (or tantrums) of a character. The Academy wanted to see how well she would do with a character that she couldn't easily relate to in most aspects, was popular with the Mary Sues and was quite appealing to the eye.

They both continued to stare at each other until Erik broke the silence, "If you are going to be my Mary Sue Killer, then I will expect you to both live here as well as do other other tasks for me such as cleaning, checking the traps, and some spying upstairs the opera house."

Ink process this for a moment, "What time is it?"

"Mid-morning, I believe? I don't see how that relevant to what I just-"

"Then I better make breakfast since I am going to be your live-in Mary Sue Killer. Now we shake hands on it."

Erik sat speechless as Ink then shut her book, grabbed his hand, firmly shook it, and then left the room. Breakfast? He wanted solitude and isolation that she promise to make after killing off the Mary Sues, not a mid morning meal!

Little did he know that both he and Ink were thinking about what on earth they had just gotten themselves into.


	3. Chapter 3: Eating habits

**Chapter 3: Eating Habits**

Ink wasn't the worlds greatest cook. In fact, she really didn't know how to cook anything beside eggs. Which was fortunate because the only unspoiled food in Erik's small kitchen was a basket of eggs. Clearly the 'living corpse' didn't consider nutrition an essential of living, Ink thought.

"Shit shitty shit shit," she hissed as the frying pan she was trying to get from the cupboard almost fell on the carton of eggs. After burning one egg and dropping another, Ink eventually had a large plate of scrambled eggs ready for Erik. Placing the plate on the dining table, she decided to inform him up before she started her search for Mary Sues. Ink crept down the hall to the library and opened the door. She rolled her eyes as she saw that Erik was deeply engrossed in his book. Ink grabbed his closest shoulder and shook him violently. Reflexively, Erik grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards him.

"Erik sees what you're trying to do, you little viper. Trying to pull off Erik's mask, eh? You wanted to see the face of death? You-"

"Slow your roll, Phantom and quit that creepy third person monologue crap. I wasn't trying to pull off your mask."

"Then what was that for!" Erik hissdd, glaring at her.

"That sir, was your 'wakey wakey eggs and bakey' call. Your breakfast is ready, " she replied as she walked away from him and went down the hall. Erik stormed after her angrily, he had never been so blatantly disrespected in his fictional life. Ink saw that he had followed her and motioned for he to go to the table. When Erik got to the table he stared blankly down at the plate of eggs.

"I don't eat."

"I am more than well aware of that," Ink responded as she polished her dagger with a blue cloth, "but you're eating today."

Erik scoffed at this and started to make his way to his organ when he was pulled backwards by the neckline of his suit. Erik sputtered in surprise as Ink dragged him over to table and made him sit down. She was stronger then he presumed she would be.

"Look mister, you are eating those eggs and you're not leaving until you do."

"Make me," Erik snarled. Ink smirked and picked up the fork. Before Erik could blink, Ink was shoving eggs down his throat. Erik glared as he swallowed the forkful, only to that Ink would feed him more eggs. After half of the eggs were eaten, she finally set down the fork.

"Might I inquire why you forced me to eat?" Erik growled, still sitting down. "Perhaps you have a death wish?"

"I am not letting my employer starve himself, regardless of nicknames you've been given due to your corpse like appearance," Ink said as she reached into the crate that was still there from last night and pulled out a large suitcase. She walked back over to the table and gently set the suitcase down on its side. Erik watched curiously, now nibbling on the eggs off of his without noticing, as Ink opened it up. The first thing Ink pulled out was a small brown box.

"It holds my knives," She told Erik, not even looking up. She then unpacked a crossbow, a machine gun, a wooden stake, and a few throwing stars. Ink looked at them fondly for a moment then shut the cover of the suitcase and looked up at Erik.

"Is there a place where I can store my clothes?"

Erik silently cursed the fact he insisted on her living in his house on the lake but then reluctantly nodded. Ink picked the suitcase and smirked as Erik got up.

"Good job finishing your eggs, Erik," Erik looked down and saw that he really did finish all of them.

"Damn that sneaky girl!" he muttered under his breath as he led her to Christine's old bedroom. Ink frowned as Erik opened the door.

"This is Christine's room."

"And how can you tell that?" Erik asked is a rather tired but still sarcastic voice.

"The fact that there is Louis-Philippe furniture and not a coffin in sight gave me a tip." She replied and then glanced at him curiously as he walked into the room. Ink hesitated for a moment them entered with him. It felt like if she knocked even a vase of off the vanity in this room, she'd be dinner for the siren.

"Are you absolutely sure that it's okay if I use this room?" Ink asked as she gingerly set down her stuff. Erik seemed lost in thought as the thick

"Why wouldn't be?"

"Well, it was Christine's..."

"After FanFiction, Mary Sues, and thousand different versions of our story, I don't miss her as much. I miss her of course, but it's been over a hundred years since our last encounter. It is interesting though, with Fanfiction... I shall admit that I enjoy seeing when Christine and I are paired up in FanFictions together romantically, even though I know Raoul is and shall remain her true love." Erik noted dryly. Ink pursed her lips then mutely nodded and looked at him with a look of understanding. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to have someone choose someone else over you, but then have people still write fluffy fanfics with you both as their OTP. Bleh!

"Thank you, for letting me use this room. I know it means a lot to you." She quietly said. They stood together in a comfortable silence until they both heard a door slam. Ink's eyes widened and she grabbed her dagger out of her pocket in anticipation of another Mary Sue.

"Ink wait!" Erik protested as she ran from the room " That's the... Persian."

He entered the main room to see that the Persian was cowering under Ink's dagger.

"He's allowed to be here, Ink," Ink quickly put her dagger in her pocket.

"Erik, who on earth is this?" the Persian sputtered, still looking at Ink nervously.

"She is my M.S.K." Erik said as he motioned the trembling Persian to sit at the table.

"THAT'S your M.S.K.?" the Persian squeaked. "The body in the box? I thought that was another one of your eccentrically cruel jokes!"

"Yes, I am the M.S.K. and I apologize for my behavior before. I was under the intention that you where a Mary Sue." Ink cooly said. The Persian weakly nodded as he adjusted his fez.

Suddenly, angelic albeit echoey singing burst out of nowhere, causing the Persian's already present heart palpitations to increase.

"In sleep he sang to me... In dreams he came..."

Ink smirked and pulled out her knife again.

"Well, speak of the devil and she will come... Excuse me gentlemen, but I have a Mary Sue to deal with." and with that, Ink left them alone.

"Will she be alright?" the Persian timidly asked.

"She has already killed a Mary Sue right in front of me with great competence, I am positive that she can replicate her assassination skills once more."

The Persian winced as they heard a shrill scream and then silence. Erik coughed, but otherwise did not seem to be alarmed at this turn of events, already aware of how the Mary Sue Killer operated. A few minutes later Ink reappeared, covered in pink glitter and limping.

"Stupid musical Sues... Always singing..." She grumbled as she walked over to the table and sat down, rubbing her leg.

"Are you hurt?" the Persian asked with concerned.

"She just stabbed me with her high heeled shoe, that's all. It might leave a small bruise but otherwise I am in top condition." Ink answered with a small grimace.

"That's good, I suppose," the Persian said awkwardly and then handed a large stack of letters to Erik "Well, here is today's mail... I am afraid I have important business to attend to now and cannot stay here. You know, ballet rats to warn, corridors to stride down..." the Persian then gave a grimace of a smile and then ran off, leaving Erik and Ink far behind him. One eccentric homicidal manic he could deal with, he thought as he briskly left his 'friend's' house, but he would need more than a hot cup of tea to deal with two at once.

"Well, he seems... nice," Ink forced out. "Tolerable is a good word for him. Tolerable like slightly overpriced coffee or a light drizzle of rain."

Erik grunted at her odd analogy and rummaged through the mail. After what seemed forever, he got through them all. Perhaps now that he had a Mary Sue Killer, she could sort the mail and use most of it for kindling. Erik realized that it had been very quiet as he was checking the mail. He looked up and saw that Ink had passed out with her head on the table, right next to all her weapons. Erik quietly groaned in annoyance, she still looked quite... ridiculous when she wasn't killing Mary Sues or shoving eggs down his throat. Oh Faust, was she drooling too? He couldn't have drool ruin the mahogany and it was probably safety hazard for a person to sleep next to weaponry. But where to put her?

He strengthen his resolve and walked over to Ink, picking her up in his arms awkwardly. It felt like she weighed as much as a feather. Then again, he hadn't willingly carried a woman since his 'angel of music' days. Erik slowly walked down the hallway and opened up the door to Christine's old bed room. The door unfortunately, squeaked from such little use over the years very loudly and began wake Ink up which made Erik fumble and lose his grip on her. With gritted teeth, he ensured that the blasted girl stayed within his grip and didn't fall to the floor.

"What the heck? Erik?" Ink mumbled groggily. Erik straighten up and put his hand over her mouth, desperately trying to will her back to sleep so she couldn't confront him in this awkward scenario.

"This is a really screwy dream..." Ink muttered against his palm and then she fell asleep again in his arms. Erik stayed still for moment, making sure that she really was asleep. Then, with a cold and detached efficiency, he laid her in the Louis-Philippe bed, taking off her shoes and placed the duvet over her figure.

As he left the room, Erik surprised himself with a smirk. He couldn't wait to see how ticked off she would become when she realized that her dream wasn't in fact reality. After bossing him around all morning and making him partake in such a menial thing like eating, perhaps it was time for her to get a taste of her own medicine.

 **AN: Thanks for reading! Reviews are cherished!**


End file.
